Another update

[outsdr]

Hello!

I continue to improve. I'm doing cardiac rehab now (gentle exercises to strengthen my heart and lungs) which is going well, although it's frustrating how much they suck away my energy.

I'm hoping to return to work beginning of January. I don't want to go back until I'm as close to 100% as possible, because I know I'll end up driving myself hard to show everyone that I can still do the job just as well or even better than I did before the surgery.

Speaking off, here is a picture that was taken of the blood clot that was removed from my heart. I'm putting it behind a cut, because it is kinda gross.




Honestly, it's mind boggling to me that this came out of my heart; that I had open heart surgery; that I needed open heart surgery. It feels like it happened to someone else.

I'm also doing something I didn't think I was going to do: I'm writing down all my false memories of events that ocurred during my nearly two weeks of sedation. Writing them down is helping me work through them, and is helping me accept that they are not real, because a lot of them still feel very real. It's interesting that I'm noticeing a few corelations between things I remember and things that I'm told ocurred in the real world.

Comments

[outsdr.livejournal.com]

And if you think the clot from my heart is impressive, the surgeon who pulled the clot out of my pulmonary artery was telling people how big it was like he was a fisherman- holding up his hands about a foot apart and saying, "It was THIS long!"