November Update
Dec. 1st, 2012 12:47 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
outsdrSo.
My father dies. I get into gear to get everything ready to leave, because I don't know yet when I need to be back east. I go to the newspaper office and start doing all the work I need to get done. I call my boss and ask her to stop in. My brother sends me a text to let me know the funeral is Thursday; I get plane tickets for Tuesday; Andy gets things arranged at the hotel so my shifts are covered and he is able to take me to the airport. My boss shows up and I tell her what is going on. I grudgingly accept a small hug from her. I practically beg her not to tell anyone what is going on until after I am gone; I don't want fawned over, nor do I want meaningless platitudes.
Random photo of the sunset in Lander, Wyoming. 11/5/12.
Monday comes and goes in a blur. Andy and I are leaving for Casper and the airport as soon as I get off work. My boss asks me where she can send flowers for the funeral, and I truthfully tell her that I do not know- I know it will be held at my brother's church, the southern Baptist one in McHenry, Maryland, but that's all I know.
I had packed the night before, so when work is done, i rush home, shower and change, load my luggage in Andy's car, and we drive for Casper. Again, it's blurry. We had a hotel room at the Casper Best Western (employee discounts are awesome!) and we went for dinner at Olive Garden- all you can eat soup and breadsticks, and we nearly exploded with the foodery goodness.
Jinx does not like the rinds of citrus fruit placed upon his head.
I wake up at 4:30, and we leave for the airport at 5 a.m. I had printed my boarding passes the day before, as well as paid for my checked luggage, so all there was to do, really, was give them my suitcase and get through security.
This was yet another trip I really didn't want to make. But as my brother said to my nephew at my mother's funeral when he didn't want to wear his tie, "Sometimes, you have to do things you don't want to."
The trip is uneventful, and I remember little of it, other than not being able to sleep on the plane, as usual.
I get into Dulles Airport, get my rental car, say no to all the upgrade options being pushed at me, and hit the road. One hour later, I'm in Frederick at Beyond Comics, waiting for my good friend Doug to arrive. He's there in half an hour, and we head to his house, because he has rehearsal that night for a production he was directing. His partner Dave is there, and he and I go to Wafflle House!
I love Waffle House.
We go back to their house, and I quickly crash out on the couch. It's been a long day.
The next day, Doug and I hang out and pal around until noon. I don't really recall what we did, but it was fantastic just hanging out with him. I don't get to spend nearly enough time with him, ever.
I hit the road again at noon, and made the drive to Oakland, MD.
Looking east from the Sidling Hill rest area in Hancock, MD. My father helped build the mountain pass; he was a mechanic on the heavy equipment used.
Again, the drive is a blur. I got to my hotel and checked in. It's a cute little 8-room hotel that I used to see almost every day growing up from the windows of my school bus. Recently remodeled, I now got to see how it looked inside. While I was checking in, an enormous gray kitty wandered into the front desk area from the living quarters beyond; she jumped up on the counter and demanded attention from me as I was filling in my forms. I petted her happily, and asked, "Does she come with the room?" The desk attendants laughed, but sadly said no.
The room was small, but cute. The hotel's schtick was the quilts on the beds. It kind of felt like staying the night at gramma's house.
I showered and dressed and headed to the family farm.
As usual on these trips, I kept playing through my head "This will go quickly. Hold onto each moment as well as you can." I don't know why this always happens- maybe because the last four trips I've made back east have been because someone was either dead or dying.
Arriving at the farm, i drove past my father's house. I wasn't ready to go there yet, plus I didn't know who was there. I parked at my brother's house, and no one seemed to be around. This did not surprise me; I had been unintentionally vague about when i was arriving. In the distance, I heard a tractor engine start.
I turned and looked up the hill to the family cemetary plot, and saw my brother up to his chest in the dirt. I walked up to where he was digging my father's grave. He'd gotten through all the the top soil, to the clay-and-sheet-rock layer he and I were both familiar with from digging post holes in our youth.
We made small talk for awhile. My brother and I communicate better now than we ever have in our lives, but that does not mean we communicate well. Each time we meet again, we stumble through conversations, exploring boundaries and how willing each of us is to talk about what subjects. Even though we grew up together for 18 years, it's like we have to renew our relationship whenever we meet, to see what person we've each become in the time that has passed since we last saw each other.
(I'm really, really tired right now. Time for some more fuel coffee. This is my first weekend working at the hotel since my father's death.)
After a bit, his wife Janet arrived home, along with my two nephews. They immediately began trudging up the hill to see me, and to jump in the hole to help their father.
My nephews are awesome, and more importantly, they think I'm awesome.
After the oldest nephew, Cole, nearly took off the head of Kyle, nearly 3 years old, with a shovel, we decided it was time to take a break and go eat dinner. Janet had brought home a pizza from one of the best pizzerias that I don't even know the name of, but it's great to have their food whenever I go back.
I was told what the plans were for the evening. Janet was going to run in to town to pick up my brother's suit from the cleaners; he was going to conitnue working on the grave, Cole would help him, and I would watch Kyle while she was gone. Later, Mike and I would go to see his pastor to go over the details of the service the next day.
Even though Kyle is developmentally delayed by about six months, his diction and vocabulary has expanded greatly since I saw him last in May. Plus, he's adorable. My little Doctor Who monster has the cutest voice ever. And unending energy! I had to attach a wagon to the back of his tricycle so he could push it all around in circles for the longest time.
He also had me put on his mask, so he could be Batman. Or "Babam" as he says it.
We then played trains. He pronounces trains somethingl ike "cranes", but he uses a consonet at the beginning of the word that is impossible to write, as it is not part of the english langauge and normal tongues cannot create its sound. I was making a wonderful track layout that spanned both the tables in the room, and then Kyle decided he wanted to help and my carefully built track came to an end.
Later, my brother and I headed to his church, and I think this is where I will end for the night. More tomorrow.
My father dies. I get into gear to get everything ready to leave, because I don't know yet when I need to be back east. I go to the newspaper office and start doing all the work I need to get done. I call my boss and ask her to stop in. My brother sends me a text to let me know the funeral is Thursday; I get plane tickets for Tuesday; Andy gets things arranged at the hotel so my shifts are covered and he is able to take me to the airport. My boss shows up and I tell her what is going on. I grudgingly accept a small hug from her. I practically beg her not to tell anyone what is going on until after I am gone; I don't want fawned over, nor do I want meaningless platitudes.
Random photo of the sunset in Lander, Wyoming. 11/5/12.
Monday comes and goes in a blur. Andy and I are leaving for Casper and the airport as soon as I get off work. My boss asks me where she can send flowers for the funeral, and I truthfully tell her that I do not know- I know it will be held at my brother's church, the southern Baptist one in McHenry, Maryland, but that's all I know.
I had packed the night before, so when work is done, i rush home, shower and change, load my luggage in Andy's car, and we drive for Casper. Again, it's blurry. We had a hotel room at the Casper Best Western (employee discounts are awesome!) and we went for dinner at Olive Garden- all you can eat soup and breadsticks, and we nearly exploded with the foodery goodness.
Jinx does not like the rinds of citrus fruit placed upon his head.
I wake up at 4:30, and we leave for the airport at 5 a.m. I had printed my boarding passes the day before, as well as paid for my checked luggage, so all there was to do, really, was give them my suitcase and get through security.
This was yet another trip I really didn't want to make. But as my brother said to my nephew at my mother's funeral when he didn't want to wear his tie, "Sometimes, you have to do things you don't want to."
The trip is uneventful, and I remember little of it, other than not being able to sleep on the plane, as usual.
I get into Dulles Airport, get my rental car, say no to all the upgrade options being pushed at me, and hit the road. One hour later, I'm in Frederick at Beyond Comics, waiting for my good friend Doug to arrive. He's there in half an hour, and we head to his house, because he has rehearsal that night for a production he was directing. His partner Dave is there, and he and I go to Wafflle House!
I love Waffle House.
We go back to their house, and I quickly crash out on the couch. It's been a long day.
The next day, Doug and I hang out and pal around until noon. I don't really recall what we did, but it was fantastic just hanging out with him. I don't get to spend nearly enough time with him, ever.
I hit the road again at noon, and made the drive to Oakland, MD.
Looking east from the Sidling Hill rest area in Hancock, MD. My father helped build the mountain pass; he was a mechanic on the heavy equipment used.
Again, the drive is a blur. I got to my hotel and checked in. It's a cute little 8-room hotel that I used to see almost every day growing up from the windows of my school bus. Recently remodeled, I now got to see how it looked inside. While I was checking in, an enormous gray kitty wandered into the front desk area from the living quarters beyond; she jumped up on the counter and demanded attention from me as I was filling in my forms. I petted her happily, and asked, "Does she come with the room?" The desk attendants laughed, but sadly said no.
The room was small, but cute. The hotel's schtick was the quilts on the beds. It kind of felt like staying the night at gramma's house.
I showered and dressed and headed to the family farm.
As usual on these trips, I kept playing through my head "This will go quickly. Hold onto each moment as well as you can." I don't know why this always happens- maybe because the last four trips I've made back east have been because someone was either dead or dying.
Arriving at the farm, i drove past my father's house. I wasn't ready to go there yet, plus I didn't know who was there. I parked at my brother's house, and no one seemed to be around. This did not surprise me; I had been unintentionally vague about when i was arriving. In the distance, I heard a tractor engine start.
I turned and looked up the hill to the family cemetary plot, and saw my brother up to his chest in the dirt. I walked up to where he was digging my father's grave. He'd gotten through all the the top soil, to the clay-and-sheet-rock layer he and I were both familiar with from digging post holes in our youth.
We made small talk for awhile. My brother and I communicate better now than we ever have in our lives, but that does not mean we communicate well. Each time we meet again, we stumble through conversations, exploring boundaries and how willing each of us is to talk about what subjects. Even though we grew up together for 18 years, it's like we have to renew our relationship whenever we meet, to see what person we've each become in the time that has passed since we last saw each other.
(I'm really, really tired right now. Time for some more
After a bit, his wife Janet arrived home, along with my two nephews. They immediately began trudging up the hill to see me, and to jump in the hole to help their father.
My nephews are awesome, and more importantly, they think I'm awesome.
After the oldest nephew, Cole, nearly took off the head of Kyle, nearly 3 years old, with a shovel, we decided it was time to take a break and go eat dinner. Janet had brought home a pizza from one of the best pizzerias that I don't even know the name of, but it's great to have their food whenever I go back.
I was told what the plans were for the evening. Janet was going to run in to town to pick up my brother's suit from the cleaners; he was going to conitnue working on the grave, Cole would help him, and I would watch Kyle while she was gone. Later, Mike and I would go to see his pastor to go over the details of the service the next day.
Even though Kyle is developmentally delayed by about six months, his diction and vocabulary has expanded greatly since I saw him last in May. Plus, he's adorable. My little Doctor Who monster has the cutest voice ever. And unending energy! I had to attach a wagon to the back of his tricycle so he could push it all around in circles for the longest time.
He also had me put on his mask, so he could be Batman. Or "Babam" as he says it.
We then played trains. He pronounces trains somethingl ike "cranes", but he uses a consonet at the beginning of the word that is impossible to write, as it is not part of the english langauge and normal tongues cannot create its sound. I was making a wonderful track layout that spanned both the tables in the room, and then Kyle decided he wanted to help and my carefully built track came to an end.
Later, my brother and I headed to his church, and I think this is where I will end for the night. More tomorrow.
