A sigh of relief
May. 12th, 2009 05:47 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
outsdrLast week, when I talked to my doctor about how the surgeries on my hands had done very little to help me, and that they were seemingly getting worse, he suggested I get two MRIs, one on my neck, and one of my head. The one on my neck was to check for damage to the spinal disks that may be causing problems.
20 years ago, my mother was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis (MS). For the past two decades, I've watch her health slowly (and sometimes, speedily) get progressively worse, while admiring her stoic bravery in the face of the disease.
The MRI on my head was to check for signs of MS.
Since Wednesday, I've been thinking about what I would do and how I would react if I was diagnosed with MS. How would I tell my best friend, who once told me he would never be able to watch me die? How would I tell my family, and how would I be able to not tell my mother, who would some how blame herself, no matter how blameless she may be. What would I do for the next ten years to prepare myself for the following ten years when I'd be less and less able to care for myself, and how could I possibly live up to the example my mother has set with her quiet acceptance of the disease and her optimistic outlook on life?
I thought about this so much, I reached the point where not only had I accepted the forthcoming diagnosis, but came to realize that it was truly the only possible explanation.
The disk between C6 and C7 in my neck is protruding and placing pressure on my spinal cord.
The MRI of my brain was clean. I do not have MS.
20 years ago, my mother was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis (MS). For the past two decades, I've watch her health slowly (and sometimes, speedily) get progressively worse, while admiring her stoic bravery in the face of the disease.
The MRI on my head was to check for signs of MS.
Since Wednesday, I've been thinking about what I would do and how I would react if I was diagnosed with MS. How would I tell my best friend, who once told me he would never be able to watch me die? How would I tell my family, and how would I be able to not tell my mother, who would some how blame herself, no matter how blameless she may be. What would I do for the next ten years to prepare myself for the following ten years when I'd be less and less able to care for myself, and how could I possibly live up to the example my mother has set with her quiet acceptance of the disease and her optimistic outlook on life?
I thought about this so much, I reached the point where not only had I accepted the forthcoming diagnosis, but came to realize that it was truly the only possible explanation.
The disk between C6 and C7 in my neck is protruding and placing pressure on my spinal cord.
The MRI of my brain was clean. I do not have MS.
