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I've been under a lot of stress since mid February. Management changed at work, and the new manager told me a lot of things, and we didn't get along, and he told me that the job I'd been doing for the past year that I'd finally started to do well and really enjoy wasn't what I was supposed to be doing because that's not what was on the job description, that I wasn't in a leadership position no matter what any one else had told me, or treated me, and we argued a lot.
And then four weeks ago, he announced that a new position had been created that would eliminate my current postion. The new position's description matched everything I had been doing all year, before he came along and told me no.
Three weeks ago, I had to interview for the new position. He told me there were a few other candidates to interview, but he'd let me know within a week.
Friday, he told me I was not being considered for the new position, and that some time this coming week, HR would meet with me to offer me a different position with a pay cut, or a severance package.
When I asked him why I was no longer being considered, he said it was because my communication with subordinates wasn't good enough. I asked him what that was based upon, and he told me the interview.
What a load of horseshit. Especially since the new position I'm being demoted to is a leadership position. With subordinates.
I didn't even try to argue,
On top of that, I've been feeling a even more anxiety that I haven't written anything since the end of January. I'd meant this year to return to one column every month, something I'd let slip badly in 2016, but so far, I've only managed that one column. Today I decided I'd had enough, and figured I'd take Kate's advice, and just try to write something, no matter what.
And failed miserably. So I went through my google docs folder, putting all the finished columns into a new folder, and leaving behind the snippets of unfinished columns I'd started and other notes and such. When I was done, I looked over the snippets, and found one that looked promising and start working on it.
And after awhile, I had a (nearly) finished column of 1,128 words, just waiting for its polish.
And then I started a new document, typing out an idea that I'd started thinking about Friday or Saturday, about two men who spend all day raising and lowering a huge lever in a wall, and how they change places as they get older. I even solved the problem that had been preventing me from seriously considering trying to do anything with the idea - why they were doing it, and how to give the story a point.
And after awhile, I had a (nearly) finished short story of 1,023 words.
Over 2,000 words today. I've also put four coats of Gesso on a small artboard to prepare to do ... something. I haven't decided yet.
But I feel like I accomplished something today, something more than just pounding out a column. I feel lighter, and a little less anxious. I mean, I'm still feeling a horrible sense of dread and despair knowing the weekend's almost over and I need to go to work tomorrow, but hey, any little bit helps.
And then four weeks ago, he announced that a new position had been created that would eliminate my current postion. The new position's description matched everything I had been doing all year, before he came along and told me no.
Three weeks ago, I had to interview for the new position. He told me there were a few other candidates to interview, but he'd let me know within a week.
Friday, he told me I was not being considered for the new position, and that some time this coming week, HR would meet with me to offer me a different position with a pay cut, or a severance package.
When I asked him why I was no longer being considered, he said it was because my communication with subordinates wasn't good enough. I asked him what that was based upon, and he told me the interview.
What a load of horseshit. Especially since the new position I'm being demoted to is a leadership position. With subordinates.
I didn't even try to argue,
On top of that, I've been feeling a even more anxiety that I haven't written anything since the end of January. I'd meant this year to return to one column every month, something I'd let slip badly in 2016, but so far, I've only managed that one column. Today I decided I'd had enough, and figured I'd take Kate's advice, and just try to write something, no matter what.
And failed miserably. So I went through my google docs folder, putting all the finished columns into a new folder, and leaving behind the snippets of unfinished columns I'd started and other notes and such. When I was done, I looked over the snippets, and found one that looked promising and start working on it.
And after awhile, I had a (nearly) finished column of 1,128 words, just waiting for its polish.
And then I started a new document, typing out an idea that I'd started thinking about Friday or Saturday, about two men who spend all day raising and lowering a huge lever in a wall, and how they change places as they get older. I even solved the problem that had been preventing me from seriously considering trying to do anything with the idea - why they were doing it, and how to give the story a point.
And after awhile, I had a (nearly) finished short story of 1,023 words.
Over 2,000 words today. I've also put four coats of Gesso on a small artboard to prepare to do ... something. I haven't decided yet.
But I feel like I accomplished something today, something more than just pounding out a column. I feel lighter, and a little less anxious. I mean, I'm still feeling a horrible sense of dread and despair knowing the weekend's almost over and I need to go to work tomorrow, but hey, any little bit helps.
