![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
My father got married today.
My brother's wife occasionally emails me photos of my nephews doing whatever latest cute thing it is that they are doing. Today, she sent me pictures from a carnival she took them to.
When I wrote back and told her how cute they were, I asked her if today wasn't the day dad was getting married?
She replied, "It was. I don't support it, sorry, so boys and I didn't go."
Ok, so two things I'm keeping in mind here. One, her own father died just over a week ago. Two, maybe a wedding, informal as it was on the front porch of my dad's house, wasn't the best place for a five-year-old and a toddler. But you know something? Regardless, she just sounds .... spiteful. And for the life of me, I can't think of what reason she has to be spiteful. I can understand why she may not like the woman my father is marrying. I haven't always been overly fond of her myself, and I'm not entirely sure how I feel about her now. But I do know that without her to be there to take care of my father while he fights the bone cancer he has, he would have to be in a nursing home. Which would probably kill him. So, I'm thankful for that.
But most importantly- it's none of my damn business who my father shacks up with/sleeps with/marries. I've made that very clear to anyone who asks me for years.
So, I wrote back to her, and said, "I'm not really bothered by it. He doesn't tell me how to live my life, and I'm not going to tell him how to live his."
And I left it at that. She didn't respond.
I almost wish she had. Because I would have liked to have told her it's possible to support someone without supporting what they do. And it's possible to share a life with someone who has a completely different way of thinking, priorities, and opinions than you (Say, for instance, she as a southern baptist and me as an atheist) and not get in a snit when they do something you don't agree with (say, for instance, like myself and the entire rest of my family.) And there's something that's known as unconditional love that makes it a lot easier to get along those bumpy patches in a family's developing history (say, for instance, when your brother's wife pulls a stunt like denying her kids a chance to attend their grampa's wedding.)
So I've been stewing over this for most of the day.
My brother's wife occasionally emails me photos of my nephews doing whatever latest cute thing it is that they are doing. Today, she sent me pictures from a carnival she took them to.
When I wrote back and told her how cute they were, I asked her if today wasn't the day dad was getting married?
She replied, "It was. I don't support it, sorry, so boys and I didn't go."
Ok, so two things I'm keeping in mind here. One, her own father died just over a week ago. Two, maybe a wedding, informal as it was on the front porch of my dad's house, wasn't the best place for a five-year-old and a toddler. But you know something? Regardless, she just sounds .... spiteful. And for the life of me, I can't think of what reason she has to be spiteful. I can understand why she may not like the woman my father is marrying. I haven't always been overly fond of her myself, and I'm not entirely sure how I feel about her now. But I do know that without her to be there to take care of my father while he fights the bone cancer he has, he would have to be in a nursing home. Which would probably kill him. So, I'm thankful for that.
But most importantly- it's none of my damn business who my father shacks up with/sleeps with/marries. I've made that very clear to anyone who asks me for years.
So, I wrote back to her, and said, "I'm not really bothered by it. He doesn't tell me how to live my life, and I'm not going to tell him how to live his."
And I left it at that. She didn't respond.
I almost wish she had. Because I would have liked to have told her it's possible to support someone without supporting what they do. And it's possible to share a life with someone who has a completely different way of thinking, priorities, and opinions than you (Say, for instance, she as a southern baptist and me as an atheist) and not get in a snit when they do something you don't agree with (say, for instance, like myself and the entire rest of my family.) And there's something that's known as unconditional love that makes it a lot easier to get along those bumpy patches in a family's developing history (say, for instance, when your brother's wife pulls a stunt like denying her kids a chance to attend their grampa's wedding.)
So I've been stewing over this for most of the day.
