(no subject)

From the way my father described it, the tumor is sitting between the hemispheres of the brain, in the rear two-thirds above the medulla. The doctor says it can be removed, however, they don't know yet what condition this would leave her in. She was lucid enough today to talk to my dad, and let him know that surgery should only be an option if it would improve her condition. If it would leave her like she is, or worse, she does not want it, because of the loss of quality of life.I completely agree with this. And in some ways, if this tumor is not removed and kills her soon, maybe that's better than the long drawn out years of worsening condition she would suffer through from the MS. On the other hand, as long as she's alive, there's hope for a cure, although realistically there won't be one any time soon; even if one were discovered tomorrow, there would be years of trials and testing.

My dad says he's doing okay, but he sounds tired and worn out. He says the reality of the situation is starting to set in, and while he reassures my mother that they can beat this, he says he's not sure she believes him.

As for me, I'm distant enough that I don't feel the reality of the situation at all, it seems, or 'm just so clinically detached from looking at it from all angles that I can't feel it. What is manifesting is this constant feeling of dread and paranoia, the feeling that something soon will happen that will radically change my life for the worse, although this feeling doesn't feel tied to the possibility of my mother's death. It's difficult to explain.

(no subject)

From the way my father described it, the tumor is sitting between the hemispheres of the brain, in the rear two-thirds above the medulla. The doctor says it can be removed, however, they don't know yet what condition this would leave her in. She was lucid enough today to talk to my dad, and let him know that surgery should only be an option if it would improve her condition. If it would leave her like she is, or worse, she does not want it, because of the loss of quality of life.I completely agree with this. And in some ways, if this tumor is not removed and kills her soon, maybe that's better than the long drawn out years of worsening condition she would suffer through from the MS. On the other hand, as long as she's alive, there's hope for a cure, although realistically there won't be one any time soon; even if one were discovered tomorrow, there would be years of trials and testing.

My dad says he's doing okay, but he sounds tired and worn out. He says the reality of the situation is starting to set in, and while he reassures my mother that they can beat this, he says he's not sure she believes him.

As for me, I'm distant enough that I don't feel the reality of the situation at all, it seems, or 'm just so clinically detached from looking at it from all angles that I can't feel it. What is manifesting is this constant feeling of dread and paranoia, the feeling that something soon will happen that will radically change my life for the worse, although this feeling doesn't feel tied to the possibility of my mother's death. It's difficult to explain.